Sunday, April 06, 2008

A Fringe of Leaves

Probably my bad memory but I seem to recall a Patrick White novel of the same name about Eliza Fraser? And if that is so I would like to read it as I also seem to recall that the novel is based around the true story of a white woman who was shipwrecked near Fraser Island and ended up living for some time with the Gubbi Gubbi people of South East Queensland before being rescued. I may be completely wrong but that would not be new or novel either but ithe title set up a train of thought for this blog.
I have just come back from spending some time at Dangerbridge, which is the name of my Mum's farm in South East Queensland. A family holiday. And it was that, even though it was undertaken at a time of a lot of stress between my husband and I. This was the same area for those events described above.
But I don't want to dwell on the complexities of my marriage but rather at the level of unknowability which hovers in our lives and can make life even more of a mystery than it already is.
At a point in my own life which is demanding deep attention to the emotional life. I find myself drawn to the possibility of understanding these hidden currents and attempting to navigate the swirling waters in the truest possible way.
True to whom?
Is a good life one that is lived by being true only to the self or to the idenified good of others? Is the good of others also good for the self?
I know that I am happiest when acting and being in accord with a strong feeling of connection to others, often through sharing, working together, being together.
It is too late for me to go on with this muddled form of diaristic thinking so will just end on the note of meditation. Of looking out through this pagoda window, through a fringe of leaves, to the world beyond.